Well, it’s Cinco de Mayo again—when Americans toss back tequila shots, wear sombreros from Walmart, and pretend they know the words to “La Bamba.” It’s the day we celebrate Mexican culture with all the authenticity of a Taco Bell drive-thru.
But while folks are clinking glasses and mangling Spanish, let me tell you what’s really going down:
The same country pouring margaritas today is quietly deporting Mexicans tomorrow—no hearing, no due process, no shame.
You can’t make this up.
See, Cinco de Mayo isn’t Mexico’s Fourth of July. It’s about a ragtag Mexican force kicking the stuffing out of the French at the Battle of Puebla. A stand-your-ground story. A middle finger to imperialism.
And yet, in 2025 America, the government’s got boots at school gates and is yanking kids out of classrooms like we’re in some backlot sequel to Children of Men.
Just last week, guys who looked a hell of a lot like Homeland Security walked into two L.A. schools sniffing around for five kids. Said it was a “welfare check”—but forgot to bring a warrant. The principals, bless ‘em, sent the suits packing. But you can bet your burrito the message got through:
We can come for your kids now.
And in Sackets Harbor, New York—hometown of Trump’s border bulldog Thomas Homan—ICE went ahead and arrested a third-grader. Yeah, a child. A little kid. While folks in the rest of the country were arguing about guac prices, a damn child was put in cuffs. Over a thousand locals protested. Good. But that bell’s already been rung.
Now here’s where the hypocrisy gets the lime twist.
The same Trump who’s selling nationalism by the barrel also expanded expedited removal—which means if they think you don’t belong, they can deport you without a hearing. No judge. No lawyer. No Constitution. Just you, a badge, and a fast pass to the border.
And when he told the president of El Salvador,
“Homegrown are next,”
he wasn’t talking about landscaping.
So, yeah, go ahead. Say “Happy Cinco de Mayo.”
Toast to Mexican resilience while ICE is raiding elementary schools.
Wear a poncho. Sip a Corona. Snap a selfie next to your street taco stand.
But let’s get something straight: You don’t get to celebrate Mexican resistance while you’re deporting Mexicans.
Cinco de Mayo isn’t just about beer specials. It’s about standing your damn ground.
And right now, the people who need to do that are the ones cheering while the government knocks on school doors.
Margaritas up front. Deportations out back. Welcome to Cinco de Hypocrisy.